I know it is neither ethical nor legal to biff an old lady
round the chops and, fortunately, few even contemplate it. But yesterday I came
close to having my face re-arranged – all on the altar of accurate vocabulary.
I bumped into an acquaintance in the supermarket; in the
toiletry aisle actually. She said she was looking for something for her
partner. Perhaps I could help her find it?
‘Of course,’ I said, gazing around. ‘Is he or she your
business partner or your sex partner?’
She looked puzzled and I repeated my question. Then the
penny, as they say, dropped. Her eyes narrowed and took on a menacing glitter
and her lips thinned in an aggressive line. I thought I saw her hands ball into
fists before she stalked away.
Now, I ask you? What did I do? I was only trying to clarify
the situation. She called this unknown person her partner. I didn’t know what
sort of relationship she had. Now, in my day (yes, I know things change but
they shouldn’t, not when language loses its edge and meaning) in my day a
partner was someone you did business with. Today it means someone you do the
business with. We used to call that ‘living-in-sin’.
If my acquaintance had been clear that this person was
engaged in the morally dubious activity of ‘living-in-sin’ with her then we
both would have known where we stood.
Today a husband or a wife is a partner. Murder is homicide.
Rape is sexual assault. I find all this modern PC faffing about with words
tiring and confusing. It’s just a way of fudging whatever activity you’re
describing so that it doesn’t sound unethical or immoral or just plain bad.
Anyway, good on my acquaintance for walking away but not so
good on her for allowing herself to be hoodwinked into being a ‘partner’ and
not a wife.
Jenny Harrison
New
book: Out of Poland: when the best revenge is to have survived
Other
books available on my website:
I prefer the word 'partner' over boyfriend or girlfriend. To me, it means life partner. Marriage is essentially a religious construct, right, so if we're not religious... I think this is more a matter of each to their own, not PC gone too far :-)
ReplyDeleteHa! Finally, a response! So there is at least one person alive out there! Thanks, ZR. I would prefer partner over the two alternatives you've given as neither means the commitment we both intend. Marriage always meant a permanent arrangement whereas a partnership means, to me at least, no boundaries of commitment. It seems you can swan in or out of a partnership as you please. How in a partnership do you commit to a life together? There is no legal binding, is there? In a marriage there is. And marriage doesn't have to mean a religious ceremony, merely the solemn vows are taken in public.
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