‘Hi this is Big Al here and they’ve let me ‘out’ for a spell and so I’m taking the opportunity of keeping my promise, made earlier this year, to give you a spot of poetry.
When it comes to poetry I guess you’d say (seeing I am definitely in the ‘older bracket’) that I like my poems to rhyme and to tell a story so I suppose they should be called Ballads.
I consider that if it’s good enough for the noted poets of old to express their thoughts in this fashion then do we really have to pretend we enjoy the modern type of poems which don’t have much, if any, rhyme to them and sometimes where one has to have the mind of a cryptic crossword addict to fathom out their meaning? Perhaps they have conned us into thinking that this is the new age and we’d better shape up or ship out.
Before I began to have a go at writing short stories etc. I was a golfer – and previous to that, in my giddy youth, a table tennis player and so, not unnaturally, my thoughts linger on these ‘body no longer able to cope with’ activities.
So here we are – about to make a start on a book which I hope will be enjoyed by my former golfclub buddies in a club which is to celebrate its 100th Anniversary next year – and if I ever get round to starting it this will be the first one:-
‘WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED GOLF?
Why must we play this dreaded game with hopes forever high?
Why do we score a hundred (then tell a bare-faced lie)?
We live in hopes this game of golf which taxes every nerve
makes us more stronger-minded than we actually deserve
but if we shoot a wondrous score it clearly should be known
this usually only happens when we’re playing on our own
First let’s take the graceful bit – the casual practice swing
it’s poetry in motion a smooth delightful thing
we visualise a screamer – the ball in perfect flight
but muscles seize we choke and freeze it’s not a pretty sight
Instruction books have wise advice refer to Chapter One
‘Keep your eye upon the ball relax and have some fun’
May I suggest more prudently when playing in a match
your eye should be upon your foe to keep him up to scratch
Most courses fraught with hazards like bunkers rough and lakes
take some negotiation (not to mention lucky breaks)
insist on going by yourself – to search – then with a shout
make sure that no one’s looking when you throw the damned thing out
grab a tuft of grass and wipe some mud from off your lip
as you emerge like ’Tiger’ and proceed to sink the chip
Ephemeral? Yes just like a dream the reason we persist
The Holy Grail – the Hole in One – that thrill not to be missed
no doubt about the exercise it’s of the healthy kind
will take you long into your life (but may destroy the mind)
You’ll play that round again in bed remembering that winner
the day you sank a six foot putt to win the final skinner’
And now I hear them knocking on the door to take me back ‘inside’ so I’ll say good luck (if you’re a golfer) and tough bickies if you haven’t had the opportunity (or the money) to play it. The old saying ‘Why is it that one never loses an old ball’ is quite true and they’re rather expensive these days!
See you next year – maybe.