Grumpy Granny on the Rampage - Again

Now, I know I’m being a Grumpy Granny, but I’m going to have a moan. If, like me, you are a stickler for good English then hang on, I’ve a point or two to make. If you’re not a stickler, then hang on as well, because you’re about to learn something.

Let me admit right here, my grasp of the intricacies of English is limited. What I know I seem to know instinctively; stuff learned with mother’s milk you might say, or beaten into my skull with a ruler by the nuns at the convent, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I’ve got this wrong.

My grumble is about degrees of comparison. We have adjectives that are positive, comparative and superlative. Examples: bright, brighter and brightest. Or happy, happier and happiest. Or costly, costlier and costliest. Or pale, paler, palest. And so on.

But hang on, says me. What about ‘full’? ‘Full’ is an adjective that means (OED quote)... ‘Having within its limits all it will hold’. So, can you have ‘full, fuller, fullest’? No! You flamin’ well can’t. You cannot ‘live life to the fullest’. You can only ‘live life to the full’. It really riles me when I see good writers use the word ‘fullest’. Poor writers use it sometimes and journalists, of course, use it all the time. So, let’s deface books. Let’s cross out every ‘fullest’ we can find. Let’s hang, draw and quarter people, especially writers, who use the word ‘fullest’ because, ladies, gents and all those in-between, there’s no such word.

Another pet hate is the use of ‘amount’ instead of number. You can’t say ‘the amount of people’. It’s wrong. It’s ‘the number of people’. I was always taught that if you can count something then you use the word ‘number’. You can count people so you use the word ‘number’, as in ‘number of people at the soccer match’. If you’re talking about snow on the mountain, you use the word ‘amount’ because you can’t count it. Simple? I would have thought so.

And don’t tell me because it’s in common use it’s alright. It isn’t! Don’t get sucked in by that hoi poloi, cheapskate argument. That’s an excuse used by people who don’t know any better.

Okay, now that I’ve let off all that steam, I think I’ll go and have a cup of tea.

Jenny Harrison

Gabrielle Rothwell on life after The Sunken Garden

I going miss it.  I really will - but there’s another one waiting in the wings.

That’s my book I’m talking about and I’m about to put it to bed after working on it for more than three years. Because its part-memoir-part fiction it has been a difficult book to write.  What to put in?  What to leave out?  French author Laurent Binet says he spent a whole day wondering whether to take out a comma then at the end of the day put it back again. It’s an apt quote for someone like myself who has written and rewritten chapter and verse and agonised over tenses and punctuation and historical accuracy. I always remember one of my teachers saying “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. There have been so many rewrites, notes on pieces of paper, notebooks and exercise books filled with observations and thoughts, etc all scattered around my study – and of course conversations, thoughts, visualisations running through my head over these last few years.

I have eaten, slept (precious little) and lived with this book for a very long time. In the end I had to give myself a deadline- actually two weeks which will run into three as although I have printed out the manuscript to give to my husband to read, I do have to print the good copy for publication.) And yes, there are still the odd pieces of paper with notes that I have to insert (notes I’ve forgotten about which simply have to go in!)  When I tell people this they look at me and I can see their minds ticking over saying: For God’s sake, just put the bloody thing to bed!

 One famous novelist - can’t remember who - took ten years to write what was eventually hailed as a masterpiece. Maybe Leo Tolstoy and War and Peace? I’m sure the likes of Stephen King, Bryce Courtney or Wilbur Smith would look at me in disbelief if they read what I’ve just written.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to bang out a novel every few months or so?

They say a writer’s work is never done.  Why couldn’t I have chosen a simple 9 – 5 job?

There is always the big question – have I written rubbish? Is it publishable? And – oh no - can I make it better?  I have to squeeze out the very last creative thought just in case ...

And the one waiting in the wings? Now that The Sunken Garden is almost at an end – I hope to bring to light my next creative venture, one which has had to be put on hold. It’s the story of a Special Forces agent during World War II – a book I actually started writing before Sunken Garden. Rather than rest on my laurels I’m going to try to cash in on the anniversary of World War 1 which every man and his dog will probably do. So another deadline in sight and the whole process starts over again.

 

Happy Writings,

Gabrielle

 

Rod Dearing on rest and refreshment for writers

Healthwise the last six months have been a tad trying for me (and 
for my family) but from a creativity and writing point of view I can’t complain.

You see because of my aches and pains I was forced to slow down and rest up. Take some morphine pain killers. Stay in bed longer. Snooze out in the sun. Snuggle deep into the cushioned comfort of the old grandfather chair and doze off. Forget about the stresses and tensions of the outside world. Let my mind wander aimlessly and dream a little. Dream about the really important things in life.
It's extraordinary how life’s priorities change in Dreamland where there are no boundaries and restrictions, pressures or timings to meet. Creativity can flourish unfettered.

Fresh plots emerge out of the mists. New characters make their acquaintance and either stay to converse or, as in Macbeth ‘is a poor player who struts and frets his hour on the stage and is heard no more’.  The impossible becomes possible and acceptable. New norms are created and a myriad of hitherto undiscovered views offer themselves for exploration.

‘Ah,’ I hear some sceptics say, ‘it’s the morphine pain killers!’ And in my case, having led a very sheltered life that could well be a contributing factor. But on the other hand it’s far more likely to be that I was forced to take time out to repair the body and spirit.

Do you think that we writers should deliberately plan to take ‘time out’ as a means of recharging our creativity?

Settle down, switch off and ... dream a little.

 

Rodney Dearing

Author of 'Brilliant Mr Badger' and 'Cadet Willie McBride' stories.

74 Temple Street,

Meadowbank,

Auckland 1072

New Zealand.

Tele + 64 09 521 5193

Mobile + 64 027 3333 984

www.brilliantmrbadger.com

www.coloneldearing.com

Evan Andrew on the annoying popularity of Bridget Jones

Well, last week we fought the good fight and lost to technology, and a bottomless purse! So, now back to normality, and yet, I still feel grumpy, irritable, and generally out of sorts.

'Why do you watch the news?' said my better half wearily the other night.  'All you do is complain, and say they are all a bunch of idiots.'

She is of course, quite right, and I slink away, gin and tonic in hand, mumble under my breath, and wonder... am I becoming a grumpy old man?

My latest gripe with the media is ... all the hoopla and news time taken up recently on every TV news channel, (also radio, women's magazines, newspapers, etc, etc,) with the sequel to 'Bridget Jones's Diary.'

Now, I have never read the book, (and full marks to author Helen Fielding, and I assume her publishers) for what must be a brilliant advertising campaign.

To be able to sell the book, film, play, TV series, song, clothing campaign, makeup range, and whatever else they can dream up to sell through the media with this type of promotion, without spending a pound, euro, dollar, or anything else.

'You are only jealous,' sniffed my better half, and of course she is absolutely right, as always!

What wouldn't I give to have my book taken up and pre sold for free like this, by the news moguls that control the media worldwide.

How amazing it is, to think that a fictional character like Bridget Jones, can relate to so many women worldwide, (and possibly men too) to become such an icon.

Congratulations again to Helen Fielding.

Ah well, back to the computer, to escape into the plight of my heroine, even if she bears no resemblance to... Bridget Jones!

 

Evan Andrew

Jean Allen on making reading easier.

READERS ARE THE REASON WE WRITE!

 

Style, plot, and characterisation are but a few of the abilities writers use to hone our work for our readers. We care about their reading experience as well.

Recently I had to have cataract operations on both my eyes. What a wonderful era we live in to have this surgery available. I had the near sighted eye done first and arranged to have the long sight eye done two weeks later; which was just as well as I was found to be allergic to one of the eye drops used before and after surgery. I could read, just, but the discomfort to that eye made it too sore.    

Remedy? My kind husband went to the library and chose for me three Large Print books. E-books also proved good with their larger print options and a friend lent me some audio CDs. Of these I still preferred the Large Print books. I love the feel, smell and familiar look - and many now have lighter weight covers for comfort.

Blind Institutes worldwide have long provided for the blind or near blind; now those of us having short or long term seeing problems have options. My personal, short term experience has made me decide I shall follow some of my fellow writers’ lead and seek to add to the supply of e-books, large print and audio CDs – and incorporate them more in my own reading interests. And maybe I shall find other options.

This is Jean ‘Angel’ Allen hoping my new eyes haven’t made any mistakes and that you are enjoying your favourite reading method today!

 

Barbara Algie on NZ Sporting genius!

‘Strike up the Band’/’Roll out the Barrel’/’Congratulations’/and ‘Wasn’t that a party?’ All amazing songs but I’ll tell you more about them later.

Right now it’s all about National Pride in this under-populated chunk of land whose exact whereabouts has some people in the world scratching their heads. This week we are celebrating a host of amazing moments in the worldwide sporting arena

1) National Sport – ‘Rugby Racing & Beer’. Our All Blacks, whose veins are a combination of fibre optic cable and No.8 fencing wire, brushed off mangled muscles to defeat a burly South African team by a country mile, causing nationwide Sunday hangovers.

2) Ranfurly Shield – Provincial challengers have been playing ping-pong with the ‘Log o’ Wood’ as

it’s widely known. Otago (rank outsiders) held it briefly before it was wrested from their grasp by the Magpies from Hawkes Bay who didn’t even have time to give it a polish before it found itself in the firm grip of Counties Manukau. The Shield is beginning to feel dizzy, so – watch this space.

3) Sweet was the victory of Netball’s Silver Ferns over their Australian opponents in the first of a bruising series of Five Tests where the slogan of our so-called friends across the ditch is ‘take no prisoners'. For once our kiwi girls managed to forget they were the nice-guys and inflicted the necessary amount of push, biff and shove, for a narrow cliff-hanger win. ‘Go the Ferns!’ for the series.

4) World-beater Lydia Ko – what can we say? This young lass has put new emphasis on the phrase ‘a real cool cat’ by astonishing the golf world with her ability not only to make the cut in every tournament in which she has so far competed, but whose short game is the envy of players, male or

female. Her aim? To be the best in the world. Good luck Lydia - ‘Go Ko – Turn Pro!’

5) NZ Rowers – Bedecked with so many medals they set the airport security devices ringing like the Bells of St Mary’s. Rowing – showing the world how it’s done.

6) Now to the ‘biggie’ – America’s Cup where Team New Zealand need to win just one more race to bring the Auld Mug back to where its empty (burglar-proof) cabinet awaits in the Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron. I’m not sure the description of this event as a ‘Regatta’ is correct. Rather than a genteel afternoon picnic with cucumber sandwiches it’s more a bitter battle currently being waged on San Francisco Bay. The rivalry between Jimmy Spitall (the Pitbull) and the Deano/Dalton duo (the Icemen) is intense, but thankfully somebody has resurrected a pair of red socks. A gimmick yes, and some smell of mothballs, but one which seems to be working for our unflappable crew.

So please don’t worry about stomach ulcers or angina pains – put on those red socks and pray – HARD – and after we win tomorrow’s race (fingers crossed of course) you can start singing all those songs at the top of this blog and don’t worry about impending hangovers – they may go on for a month or two but ‘they’ll be worth it’!

 

Barbara Algie

Sept 19 2013

                                                           Photo: Bev Robitai

 

Vicky Adin on Facebook for authors

For those indie authors who wonder how to reach those elusive readers, I came across this post - http://socialmediajustforwriters.com/4-sure-fire-ways-to-generate-engagement-on-facebook/ – the best I’ve seen – explaining the difference between a Facebook profile (personal) and a Facebook page (professional).

A Facebook profile is for people. A Facebook page is for products (books!), services, nonprofits, and businesses.

Having a Facebook page will enable you to promote it, announce your readings, and inform your readers of upcoming workshops you’re giving. Technically, writers can’t promote their wares on their Facebook profiles

Even so, I struggled with some of the concepts.

After several experiments, the author – Frances Caballo – came to the conclusion that:

•     On your Facebook profile, personal information trumps beautiful images. Profiles are for friends and they want to hear about your life, your travails and your accomplishments. They also want to help so don’t forget to solicit their feedback.

•     Information about your specialty or niche will perform better on your Facebook page, not your profile. I’m a writer who specializes in social media. I love to post about books, libraries, social media marketing, and authors. However, those types of posts work better on my Facebook page where my fans expect me to write about social media and as writers themselves, appreciate quotes by writers. So keep professional interests on your Facebook page and keep personal information you’d like to share on your Facebook profile.

•     The image posted was beautiful, but it wasn’t personal. It wasn’t a picture that I’d taken on vacation or after a day at the beach. If that had been the case, more of my friends would have left comments. Images in and of themselves, despite the beauty they capture, won’t generated the engagement you’d like to have on your profile.

•     Facebook users love to laugh. Whenever I post an image that’s hilarious, whether it’s on my profile or my page, the engagement goes up. This is true for both your page and your profile; something truly hilarious that isn’t offensive may trump everything else, except for your profile when you ask people for their help.

I agree that photos and images are postings that attract comments and likes. A good photo or humorous image and hitting ‘like’ is quick and simple. But in this article, the author also pushes the personal - Facebook profiles are all about sharing one’s drama, struggles, parties, promotions, and other personal items. And this is where I have a problem.

I am happy for people to know about me as an author, but do they really need or, more importantly, want to know if I have a cold, had chicken for dinner or my granddaughter was cheeky? My friends will, I agree; my family probably already know as I talk to them, but do my readers, followers and people who ‘like’ me want to know? I’d be interested to know your opinion.

As a reader I want to know what about my favourite authors: something of their interests and what excites them, but not personal and intimate posts. I want to know a lot about what they are writing, what the theme for the next book might be, and what inspires them. I am also more interested in the struggles they are having with writing rather than anything in their personal lives. Is that just me, being a fellow writer, or am I being too ‘out-of-touch’ in today’s world?

So this is where Facebook doesn’t work for me. You must have a personal profile to have a Facebook presence – okay, so far so good – and if you ‘like’ a business page (which I have done) you would expect to receive updates according to your setting.  Unfortunately, that also means an author not only has to spend time commenting on their personal page but also on their professional page, which takes them away from what they do – write books.

Yet anything posted on that business page does not necessarily appear in your personal news feed. Sometimes it might and sometimes not. I have a friend, both personal and on Facebook who updates here personal profile with interesting news. She is also an author. I have ‘liked’ her professional page, but rarely do I get any updates from that page.  I wondered if it was my ineptitude and somehow I didn’t have the correct settings. It appears not.

Another article by Stephanie Chandler - http://authoritypublishing.com/social-media/social-media-for-authors-how-to-use-promoted-posts-on-facebook/ - tells us Facebook deliberately controls the number of people who see the posts on your business page. The only way to overcome this problem is to spend money and pay for Promoted Posts.

What do you think?

Do you want read personal updates about people who you ‘like’ on a business page? Shouldn’t that sort of personal information be just for friends and family – people you know? Are your readers also your friends? What is the difference between a friend and a Facebook friend? I don’t like to share my personal with the wider world out there in cyber space who I don’t know, but thousands, even millions of people do. So much for the GCSB debate! (But that’s another story).

What would be the factor that would attract you away from the personal profile of an author to the professional page of the same person?  If I put my writing information – and I don’t mean hard sell: that doesn’t work in anybody’s world – but a link to my blog, for example. Would you follow that link more if it was on a professional page rather than my personal profile? According to this article, yes:

Facebook friends want to hear about the highlights of our lives, and not have to click a link that take them to a blog post. Do you agree?

Seems to me that social media, which is constantly highlighted as THE way to connect with your readers, is not all it’s cracked up to be, but then I’m old-fashioned like that. I want people to read my stories, not the story of my life today in one-sentence updates. So, I still have the problem – how do indie authors find their readers?

Vicky Adin